Bullying

It is so heartbreaking to see a child become miserable because of bullying. Many children experience bullying to some degree, at some point. Girls seem to be particularly cruel, and psychological bullying is just as damaging as physical bullying.

Some common signs of being bullied include becoming withdrawn and not wanting to go to school (or the place where the bullying is occurring).  Bullying is something to take very seriously. If your child tells you they are being bullied, or 'picked on', this is good, because your child trusts you and you obviously have good communication happening. Listen carefully, try to establish exactly what is going on, who is involved and what specific incidents have taken place. It's really important to try to not get outwardly upset at this point.  Listen carefully and find out as much as you can.

DO NOT  rant and rave, and jump in your care to go and confront the bully and their parents!  Firstly, that is not the most effective (or mature) way to handle this,  secondly, you will probably just embarrass your child, (making them less likely to confide in you in the future, and thirdly, it's unlikely to work, and may actually make the situation worse.

I think the best thing to do if your child is being bullied, is give your child a hug, and tell them you are sorry this is happening to them, and you are proud of them for being so mature and telling you what's going on. Then, (calmly) go into another room and cry if you need to! Sometimes bullying does just blow over, but if it doesn't, a quiet word to the class teacher, should be the first step.

 Teachers have a lot of experience with bullying, and can often subtly affect a positive change by changing seating arrangements, organizing groups differently, educating the class in general (ie not singling out your child), about acceptable behavours and just keeping a close eye on your child and the situation in general. This is often enough, especially with younger children, to fix the problem.

Sometimes role playing a situation and giving your child a few funny or 'snappy comebacks' can help.  Sometimes that is enough to help a shy child feel a little more confident.

If for any reason the teacher is not supportive, or there is no improvement in the situation, make an appointment to see the Principal and take things further. Your school should have an anti-bullying policy.

 In my experience these steps have helped with bullying, but if your child is experiency very severe or prolonged bullying, do what you need to do to keep them safe. There have been cases where children and teenagers have become depressed and committed suicide, because of bullying.  If a situation is very bad, involving police, changing schools or homeschooling is the last resort, but I would not hesitate to do whatever needs to be done to protect the child.